Okay, so I have to disclose that I’m only using the word “quit” because it’s catchy for search engine searches, and that’s what most people are looking to do, is “quit” smoking.
Other than this title, I very much dislike and don’t associate with the word “quit”.
No one likes a quitter, especially me, and even more especially- smokers.
Since we are being honest, I’ll tell you something else that may boggle your mind….
I smoked a cigarette a few weeks ago.
And I’m still a non-smoker.
I’m still a smoking liberation coach.
Say whaaat? How does that work?
It’s liberation my friends, read on 🙂
17:1 Year Ratio
I smoked my first cigarette in 2005, when I was 14/15, and never looked back. As soon as I started I knew this was going to be my thing, I liked it, and I was all in-with a rebel yell.
Fast forward to 2022, I was 31, it had been 17 years that I had never really once though about “quitting”. Minus my pregnancy in 2020 where I thought about quitting, however just significantly cut back (there’s more to that story than just an inability to stop).
I was finally ready to seriously consider quitting smoking.
I had a one year old son, my life and behaviors had drastically changed, I was more into holistic health and spirituality than I had ever been, and smoking just didn’t seem to fit the picture anymore.
Except for the fact it fit the picture very well, because I was still in it.
The person I had been for the last 17 years still very much resided inside me, and didn’t seem like I was going anywhere.
Don’t worry, the story ends well!
It took a year of exploring smoking cessation to get me to where I am today.
Liberated from cigarettes.
17:1 ratio is pretty damn good I think.
Your Story Is Your Superpower
You are the only one who will EVER have your story.
Who will EVER experience life the way that you do.
This is freaking beautiful and brilliant and maddening.
Why maddening?
Because it means there is no manual, no one-size-fits-all method, no step-by-step program that works for everyone.
Does not exist.
What does exist, is YOUR way.
Your beautiful and brilliant way of exploring and interacting with the world, and specific things you want to accomplish.
When you look at your past story (what you can remember of it, hehe) you will discover, unlock, open up, and bring to light SO much about yourself and your experiences.
You just have to look at it.
Then what, you say?
Then we start asking questions, taking radical responsibility, and practicing love and forgiveness.
Effing proud of you for getting to this point.
Your journey leading up to smoking that first cigarette, and from that cigarette up until this very moment reading these words, has been unique, important, valuable, and YOURS. Own every moment of it.
Right, How I “Quit” Smoking
Like I staid, it took me a year to get to this point, so I will quickly narrate how that year went.
Decided I wanted to stop- made a big deal out of it, stopped for a week, started again.
Quit again, this time for three months, until a specific day triggered me into buying a pack, however didn’t smoke but a few for another month or so.
Then traveled to Greece….few days in bought a pack, and then another.
Then when I got home I bought a pack.
Then came the shame cycles. The buy a pack to smoke a few and throw it away.
Then not smoke for a week to go and buy a pack to throw it away after a few.
Then smoke the whole pack over a day or two.
Then not smoke for a few days.
I think you get the point.
It was hell, and I wasted a lot of money and a lot of cigarettes.
So I said eff it, I’m smoking again, without all this bullshit.
There was a voice inside me that said it was okay, that this was going to serve me, and I would know when the time came.
So I smoked.
Then, a few months ago(at the time of writing this post), I felt the shift, felt the call, and ideas started organizing about what I needed to do, try, experience, articulate, etc.
I did a couple months of my own smoking cessation research and exploration.
I made so many connections between my smoking and other areas of my life- it was mind-blowing, eye-opening, freaky and empowering!
I started pulling in the incredible pile of resources I had available to me, instead of utilizing them for every aspect of my life EXCEPT my smoking.
(Self-Imposed Spiritual Shame-Guilt).
Then I did it.
I had the ideas lined up, the such-and-such purchased, the plan in place, accoutrements acquired!
I lined up my pack to end in the evening, and I knew I would wake up and step into my new existence, my higher timeline.
The date I woke up was Thursday, May 11th.
Then was Mother’s Day Weekend, and I went up to spend the weekend with my family. All of them.
Including the brother who smokes.
I probably had a total of 10 cigarettes over the 2.5 days.
Then I came home, and I didn’t smoke. Got right back into the swing of my new existence and higher timeline.
Two weekends later I went back up north to visit friends.
Had a cigarette with an old friend in a park.
Had a few cigarettes at a friends house where I stayed overnight.
Then I came home, and I didn’t smoke. Got right back into the swing of my new existence and higher timeline.
I bummed a cigarette off a person outside Wal-Mart. Got right back into the swing of my new existence and higher timeline.
I had a couple cigarettes at my friends house after dinner and drinks with her and her husband. Got right back into the swing of my new existence and higher timeline.
I understand that this goes against everything we’ve ever been told by everyone (and Allen Carr) about quitting smoking.
I spent 17 years forming neural pathways that are dedicated to cigarettes, and I know myself well enough (now, through doing the self work and inquiry) to know that me having these aforementioned cigarettes, are part of my process to freedom.
They are not failures.
I’m more free from cigarettes than I could have imagined.
I’m also free from shame, self-deception, and the worship of a false last-cigarette god.
I’m not telling you that this is the way to stop smoking. Hell no.
I’m telling you MY STORY. MY JOURNEY.
A very abridged version at that.
You Don’t Really Want To Quit Smoking
The coolest thing that comes with freedom is honesty.
Can’t have one without the other in my opinion.
You don’t want to quit smoking.
Neither did I.
Because we aren’t friggen quitters, and god if the thought of quitting doesn’t sound so damn dismal.
We literally think and feel as if we are losing something, and it’s never the right time.
We don’t remember who we were before it, and don’t know who we are without it.
We know it’s not good for us, but it’s comfortable and familiar.
Sounds like one of those toxic relationships eh?
Maybe we shouldn’t quit cigarettes, but break up with them instead?
This allows for those slips- the seeing them out with friends having a good time and falls back into arms, or the drunk night trying to forget which drives us back.
You understand the analogies right?
Again this is a very basic concept, but it allows for more forgiveness, more understanding on our part. We remember the good times along with the bad.
We know we have to leave, and will be better off, but there is bittersweetness to it that is human to savor.
We don’t have to hate our ex, we just have to move on.
(And every break up looks different! Could be clean, could be messy, could be hurtful, could move across the country, could take a long time-again, everyone’s journey is unique and suited to them).
Then one day, it’s over.
Your new life is life now.
The future of the past is now your present.
Surrender Into Liberation
I don’t want to help you quit smoking.
I’m here to guide you on an exploration into yourself through your story.
That with the 4 Pillars of SIL to provide inquiry and insight, to challenge and support you, to offer tools, resources, an outside and honest perspective, and to hold space while giving you the reins.
For more information on the Surrender Into Liberation program, you can visit my YouTube channel here for some videos explaining the 4 Pillars and the different concepts/resources within the program.
If you are looking to connect with me to feel me out and see if this is right for you, I would absolutely love that opportunity.
Click here to send me an email, and we will get something set up!
If you are ready to jump the eff in, click here to get signed up!
I will be running an 8 week group container starting August 8th, to see how that feels for people (space limited), or you can chose to get the content/coaching at your own pace.
For more information you can visit the Surrender Into Liberation page, or send me an email anytime!
Thank you for allowing me to share my journey with you.
Love and vibes,
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